Horcrux

Love was the greatest truth you ever taught me. I keep reading between your lines, and I find only what my eyes seek: proof that you are long gone, and my hands clasp a skeleton that once held your soul. I left a living fragment of myself in that dimly lit room where we once spent a lazy Sunday afternoon. I remember how your long, beautiful eyelashes uttered poetry with every glance, how we crawled further into each other’s lives with every story, every kiss, every syllable. Was it the same day you told me that I was the poem you were writing, and that our story will write its own ending? Tell me, are we at the close now? I can no longer tell apart a beginning, a middle or an end. Perhaps I have felt this before, perhaps you have always known this. I have left myself behind, in that room, so that even death cannot erase the memory of what was once beautiful.

703

I was watching porn last night. My old lady down under was feeling a bit neglected, so I decided to take my time browsing for just the right thing to get those juices flowing.

It must be said – for porn newbies like me, it takes a while before it hits the spot. It needs patience, it needs experience, and willingness to get your hands dirty. First, you need to set the basic premise. Are you in the mood for foreplay, or will you get down to business? Is this going to be a quickie, or will you go for second and third helpings? And what about dessert? Once this is done, you may open that incognito mode in your browser and begin.

At first glance, there are several categories you can eliminate right away. Big tits? Not my thing. Lesbian, gay, bestial, Hentai, MILF, cartoon, anime, cosplay, foot fetishes, handjob, blowjob, masturbation, trans, pregnancy, pissing – hell no. (I like to stay on top of things that don’t get me off). This part needs careful experimentation – start with a small peek like a voyeur hot on their prey, and if it’s too much to handle, get out before you’re scarred for life.

Now, don’t let your freak fetishes tie you down. Be open to exploring your options, you might find yourself pleasantly stimulated. Don’t be afraid to use the search button, no one’s going to judge you for typing in ‘schoolgirl pigtails minge’ (plus it’s incognito so fuck off). Another tip – you may think ‘mainstream explicit’ is a wonderful discovery – Salma Hayek is a total babe, look she’s taking off that white top now – and suddenly, wham – out of nowhere you’re watching a B-grade actress being groped by a moustached hunk, or watching some girl piss on a hairy chest. Point of no return, you have been warned.

Jeez. If you took all that seriously, you’re sadder than I am. I was never a porn person, but times like these really make you introspect. They tell you porn is unrealistic, that nobody has that much fun during sex, and porn stars are really gods and goddesses in disguise, messing with our heads. (Never heard that last one before? I made it up. But imagine if that were true.) But to them, I say: romcoms are not exactly pragmatic and believable either, sex is fun if you are having fun with it, and at least with porn, there are no unpleasant surprises at the end (no one dies in porn and it has something for everybody). That’s a one up for porn.